tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post1545162775832791277..comments2024-01-17T05:33:20.530-08:00Comments on Dan, in real time.: Head in the CloudsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-46378216551977758352010-04-12T14:48:03.766-07:002010-04-12T14:48:03.766-07:00I think it is just the overwhelming grief and reme...I think it is just the overwhelming grief and remembering those last few days that causes distraction from other more mundane things. Just sitting in the chair and staring out the window for hours seemed enough to get through.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-45050486284563242212010-04-12T10:31:39.100-07:002010-04-12T10:31:39.100-07:00Dan,
I also feel this way a lot of a time. You a...Dan,<br /><br />I also feel this way a lot of a time. You aren't alone, it's just another widow/er symptom. I always took pride in my organizational and memory skills. But now, somedays I can barely remember anything I need to and my focus and level of concentration is so non-existent some days I'm surprised my house continues to function. We're doing ok, Dan. I don't believe there's anything to figure out. We're just grieving. And time and doing our grief work will help us regain some of the things we've lost. Though not the most important ones....Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13743446066024389563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-39473416984397165282010-04-12T04:02:57.410-07:002010-04-12T04:02:57.410-07:00I'm guessing that you're going to get quit...I'm guessing that you're going to get quite a few comments with regards to this post. The first few months after Don died, it felt like I was walking through water most of the time - not focused, just managing to do what had to be done and nothing beyond, and most things done without any real care of desire. In part, I attributed that state of mind to having been under stress for so long while caring for Don - I never had more than a hour or two of sleep at a time (and it being restless at that) for almost a year. I suspect your experience was similar. Then, add to that the grieving and the change in workload. When I was traveling after Don's death, I would drive all day, make something for the dog and I to eat, then crawl into bed in the back of my van and go to sleep and be practically unconscious for the night. That changed once I got to the rental house in Bisbee -- then it was a crazy form of insomnia. Whatever -- I think there are months of feeling weird from sleep deprivation, insomnia, stress, learning to cope on our own, depression and sadness over loss, etc... For me, the first winter after Don died, I just set the goal of sorting out all of the "widow's paperwork" and of doing a major garden clean-up of the place that I rented as it was in need of some work. I just putzed around in the garden for a few hours a day, losing myself in thought for long periods that, in retrospect, must have been akin to some form of amnesia as I have very little remembrance of last winter. This year, I was quite different -- still exhausted after spending last summer getting the farm up for sale and sold -- but I think I was a lot more cognizant of everything around me. This spring seems to be the beginning of "re-finding" myself and trying to figure out a future - buying the old project house in Nova Scotia and getting myself and my belongings out there. Yesterday, as I drove the final 400 miles of the long trip from Arizona to my mom's house in Ottawa, I suddenly began thinking of things I would really like to do once I get to Nova Scotia - maybe set up my woodworking shop again and make custom furniture, or get a kiln and do pottery (or something). I can't tell you how long it has been since I've had such a stream of thoughts -- three years maybe? <br />Dan, I suspect you're doing just fine for where you're at. It would not surprise me at all if you are feeling some burn-out from all you've been through - coupled with the grief.bevhttp://magickcanoe.com/blog11noreply@blogger.com