tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post5002186241197225252..comments2024-01-17T05:33:20.530-08:00Comments on Dan, in real time.: Left Side of Bed for Rent.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-55068230410391396292010-09-06T17:11:00.331-07:002010-09-06T17:11:00.331-07:00Let me tell you Carolyn, not much offends me. And...Let me tell you Carolyn, not much offends me. And nothing really offends me when it comes to looking for solutions to our sorrow. Good idea actually.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02218009891182171803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-60009456606154696342010-09-05T20:56:20.173-07:002010-09-05T20:56:20.173-07:00Funny & sad - as has already been mentioned.
...Funny & sad - as has already been mentioned. <br /><br />We weren't married, so #1 doesn't apply.<br />#2, #3, #4 & #5 all apply. I hate sleeping on crumbs, though, thus I'm not much a fan of #5. Funny thing is that Brent once spilled coffee on a sheet & the stain hasn't come out yet, though it's fading. It's one of my favorite sheets now, although for a long time it looked more like a poop stain - which it is REALLY not!<br /><br />#6. I was pouting once & camped out in the living-room... for maybe 5 minutes... Ha. <br /><br />Can't even imagine your #7. My #7 was more joyful - morning sickness. <br /><br />#8 made me wonder about this question I've had for a long time. Is it "better" to know or "better" for it to be sudden & unexpected. The word "better" being a poor word choice, of course. Does being able to prepare for a good-bye make it any easier? Harder? - I guess bottom line is that either way it stinks. <br /><br />I never thought about #9, but going back it was the day we found out that I was pregnant. We left for NYC the following morning... Sigh. (That was an interesting revelation as it is likely that our child will also be born in that bed.)<br /><br />#10 - Since Brent and I had a "halfway around the world" long-distance relationship, I was sort of used to sleeping in my bed alone, but cuddling in bed was certainly a highlight during visits. <br /><br />Thanks for this post, Dan. It sparked some beautiful memories...<br /><br />I hope you will get plenty of applications. :-)Cadihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14517775140048055244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-55500044542818037522010-09-05T20:00:50.074-07:002010-09-05T20:00:50.074-07:00Love this post for so many reasons, Dan! I altern...Love this post for so many reasons, Dan! I alternate between sleeping on my side, his side, and in the middle of the bed. We had a king sized bed so there are plenty of places to chose from. And that makes it feel all that more empty.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04770603255888908922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-86059152966874027892010-09-05T12:01:40.101-07:002010-09-05T12:01:40.101-07:00yeah, crying here too dan. all day, all yesterday,...yeah, crying here too dan. all day, all yesterday, all this week...not sure what is going on...<br />we had some similar "bed" times as what's on your list, including the hospital bed, where jeff died. i couldn't sleep in it afterward, though.<br /><br />when taking apart our own antique bed i found one filmy silky piece of something he had brought home which we had played with a long, long time before, before his illness. It is still there, fastened around one bedpost. I can't look at it but i know it is there. oh, man, we used to have so much fun in bed! all different kinds of fun, as one does when two make one complete unit. it was wonderful to be free enough to be silly, be experimental, be whatever.<br />i saw your comment or post about not wanting to make a mistake by craving touch so much, and i feel the same way. yes there are hugs from friends, and my darling daughter, and paid massage, but none of that is the same, and there is no one that could help, and i wouldn't want to...you know. but earlier this morning i thought, since we both talked of craving touch so much and being afraid of sending the wrong message or falling into a trap somehow. i worry that one friendly hand on my shoulder by one of several people i can think of and i'd just fall apart and do something we might both regret later. and i'm not strong enough. i can't afford that, i know it. i thought of sending you a note telling you i wish we were closer so we could just lie back to back in the bed or cuddle, or something. i thought you would be offended so i didn't. and here you are with this post.carolynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-59672394512222627142010-09-05T07:41:44.677-07:002010-09-05T07:41:44.677-07:00Well written post, both sad and funny (as Bev alre...Well written post, both sad and funny (as Bev already pointed out). I still move extra pillows to Austin's spot every night. I don't even think about it any more, it's just become habit, like laying in his arms and talking over the day. I hate the empty spot in my bed, but at this point I think I'd also hate if anyone else was there so there's no solution for me. Damn!Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13743446066024389563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-43601119499672835662010-09-05T07:26:55.462-07:002010-09-05T07:26:55.462-07:00We had two beds - because we stil had two houses, ...We had two beds - because we stil had two houses, though we largely lived at his. We built the bed at my house together, I put the mattress from our house on top of the one at my house, making it very princess-and-the-pea. I had to pack up our primary house and move everything into the other house. I just could not let go of our smell, his smell, in our bed. But then sleeping on stacked mattresses was wrecking my back, and I pretty much slept on the couch for months and months anyway, so I propped his mattress in the spare room, against the wall. It sits with the parts from the bed we built. His sarong is still hanging over the end of the iron bed, and aw, shit, dan, now I am crying. <br /><br />Damn empty spot in the bed.meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10064483599165161879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-302767455915995629.post-34488777920254246182010-09-05T05:27:50.739-07:002010-09-05T05:27:50.739-07:00Great piece, and both funny and sad. Points 7 to ...Great piece, and both funny and sad. Points 7 to 9 were very familiar to me. #7 as I remember how Don started having trouble getting going in the mornings which was so out of character for him.<br />#8 was probably more "me falling apart" as Don had received a preliminary CT report indicating the likelihood of cancer while I was away in the PNW and he didn't tell me until the night I arrived home. It was such a shock. And #9 was especially sad as Don stopped being able to sleep in a normal bed almost around the time I returned home from the west. He had so much spinal pain that he slept in a large recliner chair in our living room for months. I just kept adding more and more memory foam and duvets to increase the softness as his pain increased. I sometimes used to say that it was a bit like that story of the Princess and The Pea. All through that year, I slept on the sofa in the living room and our bedroom became nothing more than a place to store clothes. When Don died, I went back to sleep in that room for the 4 weeks or so before I went on the road, then I dragged the bed out to the highway and tossed it out on garbage day. <br /><br />Those are some of the weird, sad memories that seem to have been coming back to me this past few weeks as part of my brain keeps reminding me of what time of year it is.<br /><br />Anyhow, an excellent piece of writing, Dan.bevhttp://magickcanoe.com/blog11noreply@blogger.com