Monday, October 19, 2009
One month, 1st Anniversary
It was one month ago that I lost my Michael. It was one year ago that we wed. It was one hour ago that we finished celebrating.
I kept to tradition, taking the top layer of the cake out of the freezer, and sharing it with my children and friends. It was as beautiful and sweet today as it was last year. Three delicate orchids, stood the test of time, frozen, still, exquisite, gracing the cake with a sense of immortality.
My name is Dan. I have been writing my story, our story, for the past couple of years. What started as email updates to friends and family, evolved into a Caring Bridge web page, to keep all who love us current with our journey. My husband, Michael, was diagnosed two years ago with a brain tumor. We were a new couple, with many plans ahead, whose course was changed. On September 13th 2009 we came to a fork in the road.
Now, I know what many are thinking. Wait a minute, Michael is still with you. Yes, in many ways I will always have Michael with me, and yes, he takes my love with him, yet in real time I sit here alone. We now begin a new part of our journeys, each on separate paths. For this reason I feel that my writing needs to come from a new place. The only problems is, I'm not quite sure which direction it will go. When we dedicate our life, and our love, to caring for someone, the path can be somewhat defined. When the care giving ends we are left with loss, and an absence of direction. It is from this place, or lack there of, that I begin.