Sunday, December 11, 2011


A simple photo opportunity.

A day in the sun. A day with the one I love.

Our hands.

Proof that he is here for me. Proof that he exists here in my life. Proof that he offers his hand to me.

I sit here looking at this innocent photo that I took today.

My hand on his. His hand at ease. His hand already used to mine finding it's way over to his.

I am very fortunate. I never forget this. I never take the offer of his hand for granted.

It reminds me of another photo I took four years ago.

Another day in the sun. Another day with the one I loved.

Our hands.

Proof that he was there for me. Proof that he existed here in my life. Proof that he offered his hand to me.

My hand on his. His hand at ease. His hand already used to mind finding it's way over to his.

I am very fortunate. I never forget this. I never took the offer of his hand for granted.


  1. Dan,
    I make my way to your blog occassionally and I have never commented. I do now because my life circumstances are such that, once again, we have things in common. I am Richard. You and I were friends, and had friends in common, in college. My then-partner and I visited you in a lovely home in San Francisco in the early 90s. I have been in a relationship with Marcos since 1998. Beginning in 2009 my life went into turmoil with difficult problems of my own. Those had barely resolved in 2010 when my partner was detained by immigration. For a year he was held while we fought a lengthy and expensive legal battle. We lost. We lost the appeal. And, even though, we began the second appeal process, Marcos was deported in late September of this year. He had already been out of our house since November of 2010. Although I visited him every time I had the opportunity, three times a week, we lost holidays and events in that time. Now he is gone. But we are still connected. He is not dead and I am not a widow. We are not divorced. But we are not together. And as I have sold his belongins and sent him money so that he can get his life started in Mexico, we have naturally pulled apart. Painfully, we are coming to the realization that we may never be together again. This limbo status of our relationship is not long distance - we already 13 years together before this happened. I don't want to date out of respect for what we have had. Yet feel that I don't want to get older without the possibility of the loving warmth we have shared. We still have this other appeal hanging over us seemingly mocking us. It could be another year for a decision regarding that. The attorney is doing this last appeal pro bono because neither Marcos nor I had the will (nor the finances) to fight anymore. He feels that losing this case will have a huge impact on future political asylum cases for gay people from Mexico. I cared. I am not sure if I do anymore. I just wanted to share this with someone who knew me before my life became so complicated.
    I am sure that my legal problems were gossip fodder for months among our very gossipy school mates; and even though I won, I am sure that no one heard that part of the story because that never makes the news.

    Anyway, Dan, as I look in on your life from time to time thanks for sharing your life in such a beautiful and open way. Bless you.

  2. Hi Richard.

    Thanks for reading, and thanks for sharing your own journey here. I'm racking my brain trying to remember the past, and how we met, so next time you stop by let me know. I've had so many "college" years that they have all started to get mixed up.

    I'm sorry that you have been going through such a long and heartbreaking ordeal. It's always sad, and frustrating, when life takes us for a ride that we do not want to be part of. It's especially hard when the ending just brings us more pain. I think you are wise to begin looking ahead and opening up to the possibility of finding happiness once again.

    After writing this post I ended up in tears. I went into another room to be alone, and when my boyfriend found me I just couldn't hold in in any longer. I have moved forward. I have found love once again. Yet, the new love does not necessarily mask all the pain from what I have lost along the way.

    Much love and kindness sent your way.


  3. Dan, it's been too long without a post from you. Hope you're doing O:K during this holiday season.