Today I went to an all day training sponsored by the agency where I work. It was the usual, long, and tedious amount of sitting, and listening, but I got through it. During the break I went with a group of coworkers to have lunch. Everyone was in a good mood, joking around and sharing stories. Now, I have only known these people a short time, and they have a lot of history together, but I realized that I am such a stick in the mud.
I am far too serious. I don't seem capable of just letting loose, and having a good time. Well, maybe I am, but I seem to take forever to get warmed up. Perhaps it's just that I am out of practice, or that my life has been focused on serious matters for so long.
I think I need to give myself permission to just relax, and have some fun. Why must I always be so serious? I sometimes wonder if I am not allowing myself to have a good time. I thought I was past that. Yet, here I am, sitting at home most of the time, comfortable with the sorrow.
I need a swift kick in the pants.
im more of a serious type that is letting go of perfection and trying to live a more laid back life...
ReplyDeletenah you don't need a kick quite yet ;-)
Good point. I need to shoot for laid back myself. I'll save the kick for a later date.
ReplyDeleteHi Dan,
ReplyDeleteJust a quick note to say "hi" from a motel in northwest New Mexico. My first night under a roof in about 3 weeks. I remember being something of a stick-in-the-mud my first winter in Bisbee. I did a lot of fake smiling -smiles that probably didn't look much like smiles. One thing I have noticed about a number of people I've met along the road is that those who have been through a lot of sadness seem different. Somehow, we *know* each other, and I think it is just this bit of sadness that always resides within us that gives us away when we meet.
Take care and I will catch up on your blog once I get to my rental house.
Bev