Friday, March 11, 2011

Can you make me look younger?

Earlier today I took my son to get his hair cut. He's the Emo kid with the cool do, so I always have to pick a stylist that will make him happy. As I sat their waiting for him to be ever so perfectly coiffed, I began looking through the latest Details men's magazine. I flipped through a few of the pages, then came across an article titled "5 Ways to Look Younger In Less Than 30 Minutes."

I really need to read this!

I have aged so much these past few years. I used to look in the mirror and like what I saw. I used to get told that I looked too young for my age. I used to be in great shape. I used get the idea.

I have completely fallen apart. I know when the downfall began, It was October 2007, when Michael was diagnosed with his tumor. From that day forward I stopped taking care of myself. Before that day, I used to love exercising, eating well, and all the other good healthy stuff. I wish I could get back there, but I'm not so sure I have it in me anymore.

I'm really wanting to start dating again. Not that I'll be much good at it, or not that I'm necessarily ready to fall in love again, but I desperately need a distraction from my current life.

Trying to date again is not so easy. I'm a single parent once again. I have a 12 year old son at home. It's not like I'm going to leave him here alone and ggo bar hopping at night. Besides, I'm too much of a wallflower, and have no clue what to do if I do find myself in a bar. Basically, all this leaves me to is the Internet dating sites. So there I am, for all the other single gay dudes to see. The problem is, nobody has written me back. What the hell is wrong with me?

I know that my status as a widower might be a bit of a downer, and perhaps that I have three lovely children might not be what other single gay dudes are looking for, yet this is who I am. But, in anticipation of possibly meeting someone, and going on a date, I need to get my act together, start exercising again, and do something about this recent aging that has taken place.

I know that having a husband who suffered from a brain tumor took it's toll on me. I also know that spending the past 18 months grieving didn't help matters either. So, when I saw this article, I thought wow, just what I need.

5 Ways to Look Younger In Less Than 30 Minutes

1. Enhance your hair color. What? I used to color my hair. But then, I used to do a lot of things to look younger. The women all tell me not to touch my salt and pepper hair. And, I'll admit, I do love my gray, but do the guys? To be honest, most guys my age that I come across here in town, do color their hair. It does have me might make me look a bit younger, but I highly doubt that the new growth a month later would. Okay, skip step one.

2. Refresh you skin. Easier said than done. Here the article talked about botox, fillers, and chemical peels. It listed this procedure as taking only about 10 minutes. Hey, I've got ten minutes! Poke, fill and peel away! Oh, what? It costs $2000., and only lasts 6 months? Never mind. Honestly, I'm not ruling this out. I have never been against people doing things to enhance their looks. I've just been against me spending that kind of money to do so. The guy that I see for massage actually does skin care full time. I think I will start with a nice facial, and go from there.

3. Tame your eyebrows. Amen! I completely agree with this. What is with all the bushy eyebrows that reach out 3 to 4 inches in front of men's faces? I just don't get it. Sometimes I want to walk around town with a small pair of shears, and just do these guys a favor. Clip the damn things, will you! I agree, trimming the brows does give one a more youthful and refreshed look. Problem here is that I trim my brows on a regular basis, so I don't benefit from step 3 at all. Next!

4. Get a tan. Now, not that I am a sun worshiper, but in the past I was a regular visitor at the tanning salon. This was more in my working out-buffed days. I agree, a bit of sun does give one a healthy glow, but I would more likely stick with the spray on tans. Given that I am spending more and more time working in my garden, I think I will soon develop just the right amount of bronze color to truly look like the Latino that I am. So, rather than spending money on a good spray job, I'll just stick to the natural way, and have my face receive a little color as I work hard to develop my nice farmer's tan.

5. Perfect your smile. Well, I don't think I'm going for perfect, but I think I am covered here. About the time that I first met Michael, I had spent way too much money on Invisalign braces. I was very pleased with the results. Of course I haven't exactly been wearing my retainer since then, but I did recently find it at the bottom of box. I'm afraid of putting it back on, as I'm sure that my teeth have moved. I know that this will mean pure torture each night if I really want to get my teeth back to where they were expensively paid to be.

So, looking younger in just 30 minutes isn't as simple as it would appear. Along with these 30 short minutes are a number chemicals, dollars and painful situations.

I think not.

So, when the stylist was done with Remy, and he looked adorably cute, (Remy, not the stylist), I looked up and asked if he had time for another haircut. He said sure, he could fit me in. He cleaned off the chair, and draped me with the cape. As he fastened it around my neck, he asked, "what can I do for you today?"

Can you make me look younger?


  1. Smirk - I am not an advertiser, as I would guess is the commenter above....
    Not selling you anything. Though, as a proud sporter of the farmer tan (at least during the growing season), I wholeheartedly endorse said bronzing.

  2. You look great, dan-- just the way you are :)
    and the right person for you will think so too!

  3. Thanks for summarizing those options, Dan. Always good to be reminded! I too have been a little concerned about my mirror lately--was hoping it was the mirror's fault, but some recent photo documentation suggests those gray hairs are truly gathering in ever-larger numbers. Time to consider solutions... And thanks for the music, that's fun!

  4. Based on your photos, you look great to me, especially recent photos since you've had time to rest up and gradually recover from all you've been through. I feel there's no denying that the whole care-giver and grief period leaves us pretty beaten up. It can take awhile to begin to look less harried and worn out. That's enough to make anyone look and feel kind of old.

    A nice gardener's tan is always appealing. Sun and relaxation can be good for us in so many ways. As for hair color, maybe that would be a fun place to experiment.

    Kind of mysterious as to what appeals to people online. I've read some funny pieces by people who have had crazy or hilarious experiences with online dating, which leads me to wonder how often (or rarely) it actually works out. I guess I'm still a bit old fashioned in that way - figure that there is often something kind of serendipitous about how we meet kindred spirits. I wonder how often that occurs online. I await reading about your experiences! (-:

  5. Get out of my head, will you? LOL I, too, have been realizing how much I've let myself go in the year since I lost my husband... and realizing that if I want to date again, I'd better find some motivation to get back in shape and take better care of myself. A big part of my issue, I think, is that I was never supposed to be single at this age. It was not quite two years ago that we stood in a chapel in front of family and friends and promised each other forever. We were supposed to grow old together. I resent having to worry about dating in midlife, but what's the alternative? Spend the rest of my life alone? I don't think so.

    Good luck with the online dating. That's actually how I met my Michael, my soulmate, seven years ago... on an internate dating website. So, it CAN happen...

  6. Dan, you look wonderful and when you meet the right man, he won't be able to help but fall in love with you. Grief is aging, but I think you're being too hard on yourself. What's popping into my mind is Billy Crystal in character saying "You look marvelous darling!"

  7. um, apologies in advance. The therapist in me is itching to say something.

    Dan, my friend, and whomever else - taking good care of yourself, feeling better about your physical self is for you, actually. A kindness to and for yourself. Not for making yourself into more appealing bait. (oops. therapist got snarky there at the end). Seek first the Kingdom of Self. Says the woman who is about to start running again, so as to not let her formerly alive, incredibly buff beloved down. (therapist now closes her mouth)

    In less sanctimonious words, I say for myself - It is not a kindness to beat myself up every single day I don't start running again. I keep telling myself it is totally in my power to stop the slide into chub land, and that continuing to chub out is only making this whole death/grief thing that much worse. Getting fit and strong again won't necessarily make this better for me, but allowing myself to give up will absolutely continue to make it worse.

  8. Younger? Hmmm. At 47 I have realized that the best one can do is look good for one's age.

    And I wonder if those of us who prefer being married can ever really love dating enough to be good at it? Keep your eyes and your heart open and someone is going to come along. One of the problems with being ready to date again is wanting someone to have come along yesterday via some "meet cute" romcom situation at the bookstore or something. Life ain't the movies though.

  9. I really enjoy reading your posts. Thank you for sharing.

  10. Agree with the rest - you look great! I love the S&P hair too (though am NOT loving how much grey has crept into MY hair in the past 2yrs, so I can see where you are coming from . . . ). You have a warm, wonderful, welcoming smile which any man in his right mind would be charmed with.

    I recently started exercising more again - mainly in an effort to get strong and keep healthy (I dread the thought of my girls being orphaned so I'll do what I can to keep it from happening). Perhaps, too, because I've 'thought' about dating again, but feel like the 2kids/widow thing will be hard to overcome for some, and I'd better at least have a few other things going for me!

    But when it comes down to it (when I don't wimp out, feel 'too tired' to do it, etc) I love the feeling I get from exercise. The motivation to start is SO hard, but once there it's great, and I've been so happy with the results - I think in large part because I get out of my headspace for a while, which is tough to do between work, kids, house, grief, etc.

    (incase I get frustrated logging into my openid to post, I trust you'll know who I am . . . =)