Sunday, July 3, 2011

Visualizing Change


This is the same title for tomorrow's post on Widow's Voice. I'm feeling like it's time to get back into the dance. I need more dance, more movement in my life. I need to allow someone new to enter the dance, and to even let him lead if he so offers.

I need to stop clinging to tightly to my past, and to perhaps hold on with one hand, while reaching out with the other. I know it's going to take time, and practice, for this to completely feel comfortable, but it's what I want. I want to be out there, moving through my daily life with someone at my side. I want to feel seduced, and to seduce him as well.

I want to feel passion in my life, and I want to remember what it was life to have an active sex life once again. I want laughter, and I want serious late night talk. I want romantic dinners, and weekend BBQ's with someone special. I want to sit and read quietly while he is at my side, and I want to take some late evening strolls throughout the neighborhood, the city, or the beach.

I want to get swept up in his arms, and feel that excitement that only new romance can provide. I want to smile with my eyes, lead with my hands, and speak with my body.

I am visualizing this change.


  1. Me too. I hope your visualization brings the next (and possibly final, grow old together) man of your dreams to your reality. Love you!

  2. Just read your post at WV. Glad that you are getting responses at and might meet some of these people IRL - and are considering possibilities beyond being just friends. It's nice that you and Michael discussed your future and I can well imagine that he would be giving you a nudge to get you moving toward finding new friends or possibly more. Funny thing, but in the months that we had to talk, Don and I never discussed that topic. He was more concerned that I would not give up on life, and that I should probably sell our farm and go somewhere more suited to an artist. Recently, I could have struck up a relationship with someone who shares some of my interests, but I guess I am just feeling okay being alone and not in any great hurry to change that. Anyhow, either way is okay to be. It's nice feeling comfortable about being in whatever place seems right at that particular moment. Enjoy visualizing change. That in itself, can be a wonderful experience.

  3. can I say, on a personal note, I love the new header photo. Last one was a little rough on me. This one makes me smile.

  4. I like this one too. Funny thing though - I can't remember what was there before - doh! (the sound of me realizing how bad my memory is becoming).

  5. Dan,
    It's so uplifting to feel you upward lifting, so to speak.
    Though I hope that I can give you one encouraging thought:
    I don't think you have to reach behind you to hold on to Michael, to the past, to your love. They are all in your heart ... forever.
    So I hope that you can take a deep breath, slowly release the grip of your left hand, one finger at a time .... and then turn fully toward the front and extend both arms and hands ..... to whatever, and more importantly, whomever is out there waiting for you.

  6. Megan, I'm so sorry for not being sensitive to how the prior photo came across. It was to convey my "ostrich with his head in the ground" way of tuning out the rest of the world. The new photo is now showing my interest in getting back in the game so to speak. Or should I say back in the dance.

    Janine, thanks for making this point. While I definitely have an interest in bringing someone new into my life, I am struggling with how to do it when it happens.

    Love you all.

  7. you don't need to be sensitive on your own blog. I just averted my eyes for awhile!

  8. I just stumbled upon your blog, and wow... I could have written that post. It is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Thank you.