I got out of work early, so I'm sitting out on my back deck writing on my laptop. The air is turning a bit cool, yet the sun it still shining, which keeps the area somewhat warm. Now that I have something to sit on, I plan to be out here a lot more. It is so relaxing, and so beautiful. My dogs love the yard, and as long as I take a moment to throw a ball across the yard every few minutes, they allow me to focus on what I am doing.
I can't help but sit here and count my blessings. I am a very fortunate person. Funny thing to say, right? It's not often that those words are used to describe me, either by myself, or by someone else.
There is something that Megan wrote in one of her recent posts that has stayed with me. She was talking about how our loss has really tested our faith. She proposed different ways of thinking about God/Love in light of our loss. This was one of the options listed as a possible choice in our way of thinking.
"There is a god, and s/he knew this was coming. Therefore, S/he put you as far into love and trust and goodness as S/he could, hoping it would shield you from the blast. Hoping it would be enough to carry you."
This analysis has really carried me these past few days. I'm really making an effort to see my life in a more positive light. I'm trying to look for the goodness, the grace that I have, and had, throughout my life. Yes, there have definitely been some real trying times, yet it is well balanced in love. I want to allow that love to carry me through these difficult times. I want to call on that love, and let it cloak me when everything is feeling dark.
So today, right now, I'm basking in the light.
I am embracing love, and all it's blessings.