Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Basking in the Light

Sunny Side Up

I got out of work early, so I'm sitting out on my back deck writing on my laptop. The air is turning a bit cool, yet the sun it still shining, which keeps the area somewhat warm. Now that I have something to sit on, I plan to be out here a lot more. It is so relaxing, and so beautiful. My dogs love the yard, and as long as I take a moment to throw a ball across the yard every few minutes, they allow me to focus on what I am doing.

I can't help but sit here and count my blessings. I am a very fortunate person. Funny thing to say, right? It's not often that those words are used to describe me, either by myself, or by someone else.

There is something that Megan wrote in one of her recent posts that has stayed with me. She was talking about how our loss has really tested our faith. She proposed different ways of thinking about God/Love in light of our loss. This was one of the options listed as a possible choice in our way of thinking.

"There is a god, and s/he knew this was coming. Therefore, S/he put you as far into love and trust and goodness as S/he could, hoping it would shield you from the blast. Hoping it would be enough to carry you."

This analysis has really carried me these past few days. I'm really making an effort to see my life in a more positive light. I'm trying to look for the goodness, the grace that I have, and had, throughout my life. Yes, there have definitely been some real trying times, yet it is well balanced in love. I want to allow that love to carry me through these difficult times. I want to call on that love, and let it cloak me when everything is feeling dark.

So today, right now, I'm basking in the light.

I am embracing love, and all it's blessings.


  1. So odd to think I would never have met all of you, my new family, if...well, just if. You know.

  2. So true Carolyn. I have learned to care so much about, and gain strength from, each of you.

  3. isn't it weird how we all have these similar throughts and feelings at around the same time, yet we were all widowed and completely different times.

    It was quite an amazing moment when I realized that Cliff had given me enough love (and words that I would not hear, words that I only listened to before he died) to carry me through the time till I'm back home with him.

    That carried me out of the darkest days I've had since losing him ... so I'm basking in the light with you.

    And yes absolutely, I have met some amazing people along the way. I mean really AMAZING and you are in my top five ;-) LOL ... had to say that to be cheeky.

    Love you

  4. thanks dan. I needed to hear that back today.

  5. Dan, thank you SO much for sharing this ... and Megan .... thank YOU so much for writing it!!
    It's so very true, and as Boo said, amazing. I love that Jim gave me enough love to last me the rest of my life .... and I love that I'm so certain of that knowledge.
    I also love that, in the crap-of-losing-half-my-heart ..... I have met so many wonderful people and that we all connect so easily. Of course I'd rather still have Jim and had never had a reason to meet any of you .... but that is not the card that God dealt me. So I'm very thankful for the blessings that each of you are in my life.