Friday, March 5, 2010

Growing Pains

Originally uploaded by
{♥} Lady Georgia Sakura {♥}

It's been a very busy day, and an equally busy night. I find myself completely exhausted, but needing to fulfill my commitment to write a post each day.

My thoughts right now are on my family. It seems that we are going through a bit of a growth spurt. Of course this is not too surprising. You can't go through a significant loss without experiencing some growing pains. Growth is not always easy, but I have to believe that end result is worth the pain.

I don't know if I believe that something good always comes out of something bad, but it is certainly true that the kids and I are being forced to look at our lives a bit differently than prior to Michael dying. How can we not? What we are already learning, is that life is just too precious to waste.

For some reason thinking about this makes me think of the old saying," you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink." Oh, yeah? Sometimes the horse doesn't know that he is thirsty, and that he is in serious jeopardy unless he drinks some water. Waiting for the horse to realize this on his own can lead to horse's demise. I figure, lead the horse to water, and you have improved the odds that he will drink. Of course I'm not comparing the kids and I to a bunch of horses, but if the horse shoe fits, well, you know.

It seems that as the 6 month anniversary comes near, we are challenging each other to examine how we are handling our lives individually, and how we are responding to each other as a whole. I think that when push comes to shove, we will come out of this with a better appreciation for each other. As the dad, I am trying my best to not get too caught up in the small details of our dysfunction, rather looking at the larger themes we can improve on. The challenge is to maintain this perspective, so life will feel manageable. If we can do this, if we can keep growing, then I can feel that Michael's early departure was not in vain.


  1. i always like your introspection. it provides insight into your life and this journey. it also shows what a wonderful dad you are. trying to get back to a manageable life is the main thing right now. it's all any of us can do.

    you have your six month anniversary coming up on the 13th i am keeping you very close in my heart and though i am not able to be with either of you physically, i will be with you in spirit, albeit anemic in the way that Michael will be with you and your children. Michael did not die in vain. it is my belief that none of us do no matter the circumstance, no matter how many grieve for us, or how few. Michael is yours and now can be ever with you. i know they are only words but i pray in some small way they lend a hand.

    peace and love.

  2. Thniking of you, Dan. It is such a difficult journey, trying to figure out how we all fit into this new version of our families.

    I hope you and your kids have a good weekend.

    Love Deb

  3. You are a great Dad--putting your children's emotional needs above your own.

  4. I love the family photo you have up and whenever I think of you and yours, I truly see Michael standing next to all of you each and every step of the way - he is smiling that broad, warm, engaging smile and his arms are around your family unit - love and support radiate from his energy and surround you.