Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Another Step Forward

moving forward...
Originally uploaded by

Chaos, utter chaos. I just spent the last hour rounding up my boys, and lighting a fire under them. I'm hopelessly trying to get them to see what needs to be done, and get it done before Dad comes to inspect. Their rooms are always such a disaster. We go through this every night. It's kind of funny in a way, because I couldn't be more different than each of my kids. I am your typical Type A personality. Every room is spotless when I leave it. When Michael first moved in with me he thought he was a neat and tidy person. Boy was he in for a surprise. I'm kidding. He was very neat as well, just not as crazed about it as I am.

I'm finding that the day to day effort of getting every body's needs met is just exhausting me. It's like I'm coming out of a fog, and just realizing what needs to get done, and how little time we have to get it done. Now that I am back to being a single parent, it's amazing how much more work it all is. Even during the more difficult period of Michael's illness he at least was able to remind the kids what needed to get done. "Michael, I miss you so much!"

Today I got a call from the San Diego Superior Family Court. I am scheduled for an interview next Tuesday morning. So I quickly went online and booked a flight. I'm planning on finishing my interview in the late morning, then heading off to the area of San Diego where I'm planning on living. I'm wanting to take another look before I get my mind set on where we will live. I also want to have lunch and walk around the neighborhood to get a feel for the place. I'm not exactly sure what I will do if they in fact offer me a job.

I have not made any major move like this in many years. I've had my present home for the past 17 years, and my job for the past 21. This is really going to be about teaching an old dog new tricks. I'm starting to get pangs of sadness about making this move without Michael. It was supposed to be our big move together into "our" house. I know that he would be so happy for me if this all pans out. I'm also not quite sure how you suddenly moved a whole house full of furniture and possessions, three kids, two cars, a dog and a $2000. cat. Okay, I need to calm the hell down, and not get too far ahead of myself.

I'm sorry that today's post is not very inspiring. I need to do some research for the upcoming interview before heading to bed.

On a different note, tomorrow will be 8 months for me. Eight months without his touch. I wonder if I will get an eight month chip at the Untouchables Anonymous meeting? Suddenly it feels like time is flying by me.


  1. Actually, it does seem inspiring. The upcoming interview is exciting, no? I like your plan for checking out the neighbourhood once you get down to San Diego. And yes, Michael would probably be very happy for you if the job comes through and you end up moving. Yes, you're going to have pangs of sadness too -- I'm having them from time to time here in Nova Scotia. However, Don was feeling sad for me in the last two or three weeks before he went into the hospital for the last time -- thinking of me trying to carry on alone at the farm in a community that was never really home for me. I know he would be so happy to see me here in the place we intended to retire to - I'll bet Michael would feel the same way for you. Good luck with the interview. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you were offered the job and everything started to fall into place!

  2. I hit 10 months yesterday. The last month or so, it does seem like the world has sped up. Crazy. Not liking it at all. The whole 9 weeks to a year thing is on me way too much.