Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A Gift From Michael
He always had good timing.
I don't remember where we got this CD, it may have just been on a quick shopping trip to Target, but it is one that brought us many tranquil nights. The CD is called Tao, Music for Relaxation.
For most of the second year of Michael's tumor, he was slowly becoming forgetful. He would often misplace things. I would see him looking around for something, and say, "what is it this time dear." He would smile, and tell me what was missing. At times he would purposefully put something important to him, in an "important place," but then forgot where that was. Eventually we established the "Important Drawer" where all such things went. He would still sometimes forget to look there, but I could always easily direct him there.
Life isn't perfect, and certainly our method didn't always work. At times things still ended up where we didn't expect them to. One day, our cherished CD went missing. We looked everywhere. When Michael became bed ridden, I played continuous healing music. It really gave our bedroom, and his spirit, a true sense of calmness. During that time, and all these months that have followed, I would get it into my mind to once again scour the land for the CD. Tonight, without even thinking about it, I reached up on our CD shelf, and pulled down a case where Michael kept all the CD's he'd copied to take on trips. He never wanted to take originals in the event that they were lost. As I was casually going through the CD's, there it was.
I needed this gift so badly. You would think I had found the Holy Grail. Holding the CD gently in my hands, and feeling it's weight in gold, a smile began reshaping my face. A moment later, laughter.
Tao, Music for Relaxation.
"Inspired by the Taoist principles of simplicity and balance, these soothing soundscapes invite reflection, meditation and relaxation."