Monday, August 30, 2010

Men's Discussion Group

The Center

Tonight I decided to test the waters, and go out for a change. I had been looking at the website for the local LGBT Center, and saw that they have a weekly Monday night men's discussion group. The description said it was for isolated members of the community, or new members of the community. I decided that since I appear to fall into both categories that it might be worth looking into.

It was a little different than what I expected. It was a very large group, probably about 30 men. Most of them were older than me, I'd say 60's to 70's. Now in all honesty there were likely several men my age, but everyone seemed to fit more into the category of gay seniors.

They went around the room, giving everyone an opportunity to introduce themselves, and to say if they had an idea for the night's discussion. And while I didn't take an active part in the discussion, everyone seemed to be very nice. I don't think that I will return, as I just didn't see it being what I am needing right now.

After the meeting, I brought the boys some dinner, as I knew they would rather sit and be hungry, than to open the refrigerator to make something to eat. As expected they both said that were waiting, hoping that I would bring some food home for them. We had a nice late dinner together, and I announced that I was going right back out. One of the local bars was having a karaoke night, which sounded like it could be entertaining. I sat at the bar, ordered something to drink, and proceeded to listen to many not so good singers, and a couple of fairly good singers.

Again, I decided it wasn't really my thing, and there didn't appear to be anyone else in the bar alone, so I decided it wasn't conducive to meeting anyone knew. I finished my drink, and headed home.

So, first night out, socially, and I didn't really find what I was looking for. I'm not quite sure what I was looking for, but I will still consider it a success. I tried a couple of new things. I realized they were not really for me. Yet I feel good about the effort I put out. It was another step forward, and that's what counts.


  1. Well done Dan. A huge *clap clap* from me. I'm proud of you for doing that. You're quite right, it's the steps forward that count. I know that Michael is cheering you on too.

    Love you x

  2. Agree with Boo. It's the getting up and going out that probably counts most.

    Just a thought, but one group that you might look around for is an "outdoors club". A lot of single people belong to those as they are a way for them to get out hiking, kayaking, cycling, swimming, rock-climbing, or other activities that are a lot more fun (and safe) when you're with at least one or two other people. Not everyone who wants to get out on the trails has a built-in partner. I used to be involved in one of those kinds of clubs and a lot of our members joined as they wanted to get out and about, but didn't want to be doing everything alone. These clubs aren't just for trail warriors either. They plan all kinds of activities at different levels so that people of all ages and physical condition can participate. I know there are some clubs specifically for the gay community as a group from somewhere in California once contacted me about something or other when I was involved in the website for our club. Anyhow, might be a fun way of meeting some people and also getting out in the fresh air.

  3. Well done, Dan! Getting out there is so hard, and something that I don't do well at all. I much prefer to hide away in my house, where I feel safe, and lonely. Options in my small town are limited but I'm going to work on doing one thing out of my comfort zone this week to get out there, keeping your inspiration in mind! Thank you!

  4. Woo hoo! What courage you demonstrate - I think we are seeing some strength emerge and applaud loudly. I have found it hard to get out into the world since Dave's death and have had to really push myself to get out there. (hence the road trip) Good on ya Dan to go out to social activities all on your own.