Wednesday, August 25, 2010

"What if you met a gay guy?"

Hey! that´s my body!

It's interesting that quite often I find that when something of significance happens in my day, it has also appeared to be present for one of the other widowed bloggers. Yesterday Chelsea wrote of a sweet dinner conversation that occurred with her two young daughters. Today my 12 year old son brought up a similar topic, dating.

Today was another of my forced outings for the boys. They can get so lazy, and just want to hang out at home all the time. I too can get into chilling from time to time, but with school starting soon I wanted us to do a little more exploration of our new city. We got in the car late this morning, made an important pit stop at the local donut shop, and then headed off to our destination, the San Diego Air & Space Museum. Remy, my 12 year old was very excited, as they were having a exhibit regarding our perceptions of Aliens as found in books and media. Dante, my 16 year old, just put on his headphones, and looked at me with that teenage look of indifference, and with his monotoned voice said, "Really?"

At this point I don't really care who thinks they will enjoy the outing, because I know that end the end, we always enjoy these forced outings. As we were driving into Balboa Park, which is a beautiful large park, filled with museums, the zoo, theatres, and recreation, I was telling the boys that we should come to one of their evening concerts. Of course neither voiced much interest, but it seemed to get Remy thinking.

"Hey Dad, what if we did go to one of these concerts, and what if you met someone new. What would you do?"

I was being coy, and answered, Well, I would probably introduce myself.

Of course that is not what he wanted to hear.

"No, Dad, I mean, what if you met another gay guy?"

Well, Remy, I would say Hi Gay Guy, my name is Dan.

"Dad, you know what I mean! What if a gay guy asked you out? Would you go?"

Well Remy, I have been giving this some thought. I think I might be ready to start making some new friends, and would enjoying doing things with other gay guys, but I'm not really ready to start dating yet.

"But if you liked him, would you date him?"

I guess, if it just happened, then I might decide to date him, yes. I think I would tell him that I'm not ready for something serious yet, but I think I wouldn't be opposed to it.

I looked over at both of the boys, and they looked at each other and smiled.

Like Chelsea was saying, we often don't realize that our kids are moving along this journey as well. Sometimes they challenge us to face these emerging issues that we tend to remain quiet about. I'm pleased that my son felt comfortable asking me this.

Later, on our way out of the park I was looking at a new condominium that opened right across from Balboa Park. I told the boys that it looked like a nice place to live. Then I noticed that they only had one and two bedroom units. I looked over at the boys and joked about them having to get their own place, as there were only one and two bedroom models available. Remy misunderstood what I was saying, and responded with, "You want us to get our own place so you can live with a model?"



  1. Ha! Funny conversation. Not having kids, I don't get any of that, "What if you meet someone nice?" stuff.

    Instead, my older dog latches onto any man who visits. It was actually a bit insulting (to me) the first winter I was in Arizona. I had several visitors - my brother, and a couple of old friends who were passing through the area and stopped to visit a couple of nights. My dog would do all she could to escape from my bedroom at night and sleep in front of the door of the guest bedroom. What in heck was that all about?!

    She also wandered off at a campground and found some older man with long hair who looked slightly like my husband and I had to go to his site to retrieve her. What on earth is she up to when she does this kind of stuff? Crazy dog. (o:

  2. It is so refreshing to deal with a touchy subject with humor. I couldn't stop laughing at your response, "Hi Gay Guy, my name is Dan," and Remy's misunderstanding about you wanting to live with a model - priceless! I got a lot out of this post, mainly your positive, let's see, take-it-as-it-comes attitude. I've had two relationships since my husband died, and both haven't ended in happily-ever-after so I am not especially anxious to jump off the diving board into the dating scene right now. But I do realize that I need to increase my social circle and go out more and have fun. So I'll try to adopt some of your attitude. I know just having dinner out with an adult friend (wine, no sulky teens asking for more spending money, adult conversation) sounds divine!

    Bev - Loved you sharing your crazy dog antics! They made me laugh out loud too!

  3. i'll take a model!! (straight preferred) :)

  4. me too :-)

    Dan, what a great story. Kids are so funny sometimes.

    Love you

  5. Great post, as always! My boys are not happy with even the thought that I may one day date again. They seems to be in the minority opinion compared to all the other blogs and Facebook posts I've been reading lately where kids are receptive to their suviving parent dating or finding a step parent. But I suspect that if I one day meet a wonderful man (and I'm not settling for less than wonderful so I may be alone for the rest of my life :) ), they may be able to ease into the idea. Our kids certainly add another layer to being single!

  6. this is the funniest thing I"ve read in a long time. Probably since "a nice piece of ash!"