Monday, August 9, 2010
Tomorrow is our big FAMILY FEUD audition (!!!) - wish us luck!
Originally uploaded by dpstyles™
Tonight was another in what seems like a summer of weekly blow ups with my 16 year old son.
(signal beginning of theme song in my playlist to the right)
Announcer: Welcome to...the family feud!
Announcer: On tonight's show we have Dan, in real time. 51 year old father of three. Dan resides in sunny San Diego, after giving his children the ultimate ultimatum, pack your bags and move with me or hit the streets kids. I don't care if San Francisco is all you know. I don't care if I always said I would never move from the Bay Area. Dan can be a miserable son of a bitch when life doesn't go as planned. You want to see what he is like after losing the love of his life, his partner in parenting, and his once in a lifetime legal husband. What you see is an excellent micro manager. A compulsively controlling, and somewhat rigid, parent who is said to have "ruined my life!" according to one son Dante.
Announcer: On our other side we have the sweet, and quite lazy, 16 year old slacker, oh, I mean even tempered, and ever so helpful and dutiful son. According to Dante, he is very tired, and doesn't want to do anything. Well, any thing other than play Playstation, drink diet sodas, and eat plenty of chips and ice cream. Up until February of this year, Dante resided in a home for adolescent boys with emotional problems. Dante had made enough progress, and success during his home visits, that the staff and his dad, decided he was ready to move home. That was five months ago. And, five months prior to that, Dante lost his step father to brain cancer. Since then Dante has wondered what the hell is wrong with his dad.
Announcer: Are you ready!? Let's start the family feud!
Host: Come on over. Dan, Dante, we surveyed 100 people, top 5 answers on the board, here's your question. Hands next to your buzzers. What is a legitimate expectation of a 16 year old teenager?
Dan: To do what his father tells him.
Host: To do what his father tells him. And, the board says 25 percent!
Dante: To stay out of his father's way while playing Playstation all day?
Host: To stay out of his father's way while playing Playstation all day? And the board says, 10 percent.
Dante: That's not fair! That is bull crap!
Dan: Dante, don't talk like that!
Dante: What do you want from me!
Dan: To do what I tell you to do, and to tell the truth!
Dante: I did do what you wanted me to do.
Dan: But you only did half of it, then you lied about the rest. Plus I missed a class tonight so I could pick you up rather than having you take the train home.
Dante: What are you so angry about. Your nuts. This is so not fair dude!
Dan: Life is not fair. If you want fair, do what I say, and stop lying about everything else.
Dante: I did do what you wanted me to do. This is bull crap! I hate my life! You have ruined my life! Fuck you!
Dan: Oh, you think that saying things like that is going to help you out? I don't think so.
Dante: Well, I'm not doing what you ask. I'm going to bed, because this is bull crap.
Dan: Well, go to bed. I will still have your Playstation tomorrow morning.! What the fuck just happened?
Host: Well folks, it looks like we don't have a winner here. Stay tuned to tomorrow morning's show when Dante will go upstairs to his father's room to apologize, then without even taking a breath, will ask...Can I have my Playstation back?
Oh how I love parenting the kids on my own again. I am trying to stop being so rigid, and try to be a little more empathetic, but I just get more angry when they don't follow my instructions. Of course I know, and you know, that anger is always just below the surface with me. Most of the time I am able to control it. Yet, I am also aware that I can't possibly do all this on my own, while grieving the loss of Michael, without letting my anger get the best of me. It should be no wonder then why Dante can get so angry that he ends up just self-sabotaging.
I don't like this. I don't like it at all. Why can't every thing go back to normal? Michael was the calm voice around the house. He is what calmed me. Or excited me. He was is sadly missed. And now, I must get some sleep so I can graciously accepts some one's apology tomorrow.
Announcer: That's it for today folks. Join us tomorrow here on the Family Feud!