Originally uploaded by *LeDams*
I'm sitting here in the early evening, just having got home from work and an appointment for my youngest son. Rather than wait to write later tonight, like my recent pattern, I thought I would get to it early for a change. I haven't been giving myself enough time to sleep at night, and am starting to feel the consequences of my actions.
I'm feeling a bit stuck, in regard to the planned move. I haven't given notice at my job, as I haven't heard anything about the job I interviewed for. I know they said it would be some time before I heard anything, but I'm beginning to feel less optimistic as time goes on. The part of me that is more cautious it telling me that I should carefully consider the costs of moving to southern California without a job. Our medical insurance alone will be a significant portion of my monthly expenditures should a job not come through soon. I also worry about the poor job market, and although I have plenty of job skills, I am beginning to worry that I might be seen as the 'old dog,' that needs to learn some new tricks. I don't necessarily think of myself as old, but I am well aware that anyone wanting someone to hire a new employee may not want someone who is on the back slide of the employment to retirement slope.
Monday I fly down to San Diego to look for a house. If I find a good deal, I will likely go ahead and take it. That will probably be the catalyst for me taking the final plunge at work. I am trying to aim for a mid July move, which means within the next four weeks. I continue to feel like this is the right move for me, and the idea is helping me to sustain this positive outlook that has been gracing my vision.
I know that this post doesn't exactly address direct issues of grief, but isn't that a nice change? I almost feel a bit bored with myself, and feeling a need to spice things up a bit. I suppose another way to describe this current state of being is that I am doing well. I can feel it in everything I do.
So, for those of you that are not feeling as fortunate as I feel today, trust me when I say, that there will be some easier days ahead. They are not necessarily very happy days, but those will come in time. Sometimes it's nice to just not have a difficult day.
On days like this, it's nice to just pass the time away.