Originally uploaded by AlpenaMi
This has been a productive day. While I can't say that I got a lot done at work today, I did settle a case of mine that means movement in the right direction. I also met with the retirement office about my impending separation from my employment. I went into the meeting thinking that I would be taking an early retirement, and left with the decision to let my retirement funds sit for a bit, thinking that if this new job ever comes through, I will go with a retirement reciprocity agreement instead. It will be better for me in the long run. Now I have to decide if I will wait until I hear about the desired job, or just quit, pack up the house, kids, one dog and one cat, and move on. The latter would likely not be the most responsible choice, given the high cost to maintain our medical insurance, but I feel like I am ready to break loose.
Risk taking is not typically my modus operandi, especially financial risks, but my ever growing gut is telling me to take the leap of faith. Is this foolish? Am I in a good position to be taking such risks with my livelihood? Sometimes I think, what's the worse that could happen? I could end up in sunny San Diego, getting the boys set up for school in the fall, getting them set up with Jiu Jitsu and electric guitar classes, unpacking all of our possession, spend some desired time writing, and eventually going into financial ruin. Well, perhaps I am being a bit dramatic. After all, I would be trying to sell my San Francisco house, and would have a sizable cash flow because of the sale. I could then blow through the house money, living the life of leisure for a couple of years, then en up broke, yet somewhat happy.
Okay, like I am ever going to allow myself to burn through all of my resources. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I am far too responsible, and level headed, to do such a thing. But, (there always is one), I am also in the position to make an informed decision that meets my need to move on, while also making the best possible financial decisions for me and the kids. When did I become such an adult? Isn't it always the case that no matter how old you get, you always feel somewhat the same. Then suddenly, something comes along to really point out how grown up you actually are.
Tonight I am feeling all of my 51 years. At the same time I am feeling optimistic about what lies ahead for me. I want to take a risk, and just toss the dice. I would love more than anything to expect good things. Wouldn't that be nice? I wouldn't have to necessarily get all good things, but minimally, not get too many more bad things.