Thursday, September 16, 2010

Wham Bam Thank You..sir?

In the fuckin' bed...

First off, I was never really an animal lover. Oh, I was never "a hater," as my kids would say, but certainly not one that goes weak at the knees for a four legged friend.

Last night after writing my post, I decided to get to bed early. I figured I could use the extra sleep, and I could tell the little doggy needed some attention. Well, little doggy decided I was his best friend, and he was all over me. Sound familiar ladies?

All I wanted to do was sleep. I had been busy all day long cleaning house, running errands, dealing with homework and messy room situations, and dealing with a very obstinate teenager. When my head hit the pillow it was for the purpose of turning over and going to sleep.

Well, this little guy had much more in mind. Every time I moved my hand away to settle into sleep, he would push his head under it, subtly telling me that he wanted to be pet. Okay, I understand that we guys have our needs, and I am willing to give him a little attention. But in typical guy form, give him a little, and he wants a whole lot more. Suddenly his ears needed rubbing, his back was a bit sore and it could use some attention as well.

Alright, here you go. Now go to sleep.

"Oh come on, just a little more around my big ears."

Okay, but then you need to let me sleep.

Little doggy lays on his back. "How about a bit of a rub here on my belly?"

Well, I don't really know you that well. Not to long ago you were growling every time I got near you, now suddenly you are flat on your back waiting for me to give you a nice rub?

"Please. Look, I'm licking your fingers just the way you like it. I'm now giving you the cute little puppy dog eyes look. Please, just this one time?"

Well, needless to say, there was a lot of petting going on last night. That was the most action my bed has seen in quite some time. But it must have been good for me, because I did fall asleep, and didn't wake up until early this morning.

I remember those times of late night passion that happens in a relationship. I remember how the worst day can lead to some really loving and tender moments with your spouse or lover. I remember what it is like to lay there, and cuddle with someone who really cares about you. And I remember what it is like to wake up the next morning with that smile still on your face.

Good morning doggy. How was your night?

"Growl! Who are you?"

What? What do you mean who am I? Don't you want to come back to bed for some more cuddle time?

"Grrrrrrr, where's my breakfast?"

"Can you at least say good morning, and come give me a little lick?

"Listen buddy, last night was fun and all, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Yeah, you give a nice body rub, but don't be calling the preacher too soon. Got it?"

Well, have I got a lot to learn. And, I have a lot to prepare for. I do plan on dating again, and I do definitely plan on sharing my bed with someone again one day. What I need to keep in mind is that my expectations are definitely going to be colored by where I am in my grief. I may want to hang on to someone solely because he is a warm body to lie next to. I may want to push him away too quickly because I wake up and realize he's not Michael. I'm going to need to sort this out ahead of time, and feel comfortable talking about this if I do meet someone.

With grief, or without grief, dating, and new relationships, are difficult to navigate. We all come into each potential relationship with a history that the other is not aware of. Rather than playing a guessing game I prefer to just lay things out ahead of time, so that he, and I, both have some understanding about who the other is.

And, if this little doggy is going to be staying around awhile, he's going to need to learn that there is definitely some give and take that needs to addressed before the next night's needs get put out there again.


  1. oh, the dog must have read your personal ad... left side of bed for rent. And of course "left side" in dog words means the entire bed.

  2. I know you would be totally honest with your "new" relationship, when that time comes. I loved the doggie story.

  3. That gave me a smile!

  4. I read this last night and it made me giggle for ages. Thanks for that xxx