Friday, April 30, 2010

One Foot In Front Of The Other

On Top and Decreasing in Degrees
Originally uploaded by

Tomorrow I will be joining Michael's colleagues from his office, in the Bay Area Brain Tumor Walk. I'm really looking forward to this, yet I am already feeling the weight of my emotions.

In the years prior, Michael and I walked together with the kids, and last year with his mother, brother, nephew and nieces. I must say it feels quite odd to be doing this somewhat on my own. I have only met Michael's friends from work on a couple of occasions, so it's not like I know them well. But there will also be many people I have met at various conferences and support groups over the years. Yesterday I received a message from the nurse practitioner who treated Michael. She is such a fun and caring person. Her bright smile was always something we looked forward to at each appointment. She will be at the walk, along with many of the staff from the hospital. I hope to get caught up in every one's enthusiasm.

I find myself taking big deep breaths as I think about all of this. I don't know if I made the right decision when I agreed to participate. I do want to support the cause, and help raise money for those that are still in this fight. It just pains me to be doing this so soon after losing Michael.

It is probably best for me to not think about it too much. I'm going to take some time now to sit, and experience calm.

I'm going to just put one foot in front of the other.


  1. Hope today turns out to be a good outing. I'm sure there will be others there who will be having a hard time too. My guess is there will be plenty of supportive people there. How terrific that there will be members of the hospital staff there for the walk as well. I often think of how difficult their jobs must be. Yes, just put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, when I have to do things that seem like they will be hard, I say to myself, "Don't think, just do."

  2. i will be thinking of you today. i hope it is a good day for you, one where you find strength and hope.