Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Asked someone out.

Well, not to disappoint anyone, but no, I didn't make any progress on my big pitiful to do list. But don't you worry, I am still working on it.

Today something else happened...I asked someone out on a date!

Okay, don't get too excited, as I am stretching the truth here. Part of my training on the new job, is to have another senior worker go out with me on any of my new cases. One of the women in the office has been assigned the primary responsibility of training me during this initial phase. I asked her into my office early in the day, and wanted to discuss one of the new cases I was assigned. After getting her advice on a couple of things I asked her if she was free on Monday, as I needed someone to accompany me on this home visit. She said she had another appointment scheduled during that time, but may be able to move some things around. Just about that time,my supervisor walked into my office. She asked how things were going, and I told her about my new case. She then said, "now don't be shy, remember to ask people out!"

At this I started laughing. I said to her, well, I just asked Kendra out, but she turned me down. They both saw the humor in this and started laughing. I then told them that this was excellent practice for me. Not only will this help with my job training, it will help me to practice my long lost dating skills. More laughter. I then went on to say that I am actually failing really, as my first proposed date was with a married heterosexual woman, and she turned me down! More laughter. My last words were, well it's a start.

Really, it is a start. I find that it is quite difficult to ask for help. I find it even more difficult to ask for friendship. I will be absolutely pitiful when it comes to asking someone out on a date. So in this way, every opportunity to stretch my wings, and try to fly instead of tanking, is good.

Later in the day I was able to further practice these skills. In my new job I have the unique experience of having another male in my unit. Being a social worker has meant that I am constantly surrounded by very loving, and caring women. There are men in the field, but they are a rare exception. Since I started at the office I have been out on home visits with most of the women at the office. I have also been out to lunch with most of them as well. I have done neither of these with the other guy. I thought about it today, and realized that he is likely just as shy as I am.

Now, I know that in baseball there are three strikes and your out. I'm not a baseball fan, but I know that the odds of hitting a home run are slim to none. But I thought I should try. I wondered why it was so difficult for me just to extend my hand in friendship to others, especially men. I have always had a very large group of female friends. Hell, I'm friends with most of the women in Canada at this point! I'm not going to try to analyze why I don't have many male friends, as that will be something to explore with more time and detail later, but I know that I need to have male friends.

I told myself to 'start being the change I desired.' Yes, very wise words. I walked over to the guy's office, and started a friendly conversation. I then asked if he would be interested in having lunch together this, or next, week. I told him that I would like to get to know him, and wonder if this was something he was open to. He responded quite nicely, and we agreed to try to fit in a lunch this week.

Hey, maybe this isn't has hard as I initially thought. Maybe all I have to do is ask.

Talk about big progress. All in one work day! Who knows, I could have multiple men lined up by weeks end. With just a little success, I could be engaged by the end of the month. Who knows, I may be inviting all of your to a wedding by the end of the year!

Okay, back to reality. One day at a time. One friendship at a time. Hey, did I just accomplish goal number 3?


  1. Good for you! I'm so impressed! You aren't wasting anytime and your positive energy is contagious. But on behalf of almost all the women in Canada, don't forget us when you start reaching all your goals and you don't need us anymore :) We would be lots of fun at a wedding!

    You are a wonderful guy Dan and deserve only fabulous things in your life. I hope your journey starts taking you to some fabulous people and things! They'll be lucky to have you in their lives. Love ya!

  2. Ditto to what Debbie said.

    Love you x

  3. I will never stop needed my Canadian ladies, or the other new friends like Boo. Yes, if that day ever comes, everyone is invited.