Thursday, October 28, 2010
real time confession
I was driving home from work tonight and thinking this...
Life seems to be going my way right now. The kids are all doing well once again. The job is good. And, I am buying a house that I absolutely love.
I am getting much kudos for all the efforts I am making, and successful efforts at that, in keeping my life moving forward.
I am still terribly sad. When alone, my affect goes back to being quite flat. I am good at knowing what needs to be done. I can identify what I need to be doing in order to achieve my goals. I can present to the world that I am very capable, and dealing with my various obstacles responsibly, if not successfully.
What is my reality?
I'm going through the motions. Since I can't seem to be happier, then I will set up my life to at least look happier. It's all a facade. Currently, there is nobody here in my life that would really see through this. There is also nobody here that I would turn to, to do discuss this. I have yet to find any one specific person that I can say will be a confidant. Those type of relationships don't just happen easily.
Dan, in real time?
Not quite as far along as I would like.
Not quite as far along as I present.
Is this real enough?