A cure for human grief.
Would you take it?
Life after death?
Virtual Heaven.
Michael was a big science fiction guy. He introduced me to his favorite show, Battlestar Galactica, which quickly became one of my favorite shows. We taped the shows on the DVR and watched them over and over. We were so disappointed when the creators chose to end the series, as nothing else on television seemed to capture our minds in the same way.
When Michael's memory started failing him I loved watching how comforted he felt in watching these shows. Then late that last Spring, it was announced that there would be a prequel to the series, Caprica. We were both so excited. While out shopping one day I saw that there was an early release of a two hour series premiere that was being sold prior show to being aired. I snatched the DVD up so quickly, and couldn't wait to present it to Michael. We both watched the DVD with delight, and then he said he couldn't wait until this new series began.
Since Michael was becoming more and more house bound, I wanted this show to begin as soon as possible, yet I could not find out when it would begin. As the summer of 2009 began to pass, I could see that Michael's days were numbered, and that the series was not yet on the schedule. Before his brain took it's final exit, we found out that the series would finally air in January 2010. This was a crushing blow for me. I felt so angry that this, as other things, would be occurring after Michael's death. It broke my heart whenever he would ask about the start of the new series.
Last January the series finally did premiere. At first I decided not to watch it, as I didn't want to find joy in this now that Michael was gone. But as the days drew nearer I decided that because he was so looking forward to it I needed to watch it for both of us. I watched it through tears.
Now that the second half of the first series begins again tonight, I find myself contemplating the premise of the new story line.
A cure for human grief.
Would you take it?
Life after death?
Virtual Heaven.
Creating an avatar of your loved one would mean the ability to maintain contact with them in a virtual world. All those unspoken thoughts could be spoken, all those unlived dreams could be realized. No more grieving. Just plug in, and your are back with the one you lost.
A cure for human grief.
Would you take it?
Life after death?
Virtual Heaven.
What an interesting idea - but honestly, at first, it creeped me out. Virtual spouse - no soul, no warmth? But in sci-fi - anything can happen. So it could be like real life.
ReplyDeleteThe idea is a temptation. I would probably slowly make my way to checking it out. If I found the virtual Dave to be as "real" as the Dave I knew, I'd never return from the virtual heaven.
tempting
ReplyDeleteProbably more addictive than heroin.
But I'm not sure ...
i've watched Caprica from the beginning. the trailors on television for this season show, it looks like Daniel, in a rage wanting his hologram woman to be real. i thought about this but, well, i think i would rather go through what i am going through than interact with a Dragon that was not real.
ReplyDeletethere was an episode of "Start Trek: The Next Generation" that dealt with loss like this. this man, who was called The Dowd, an omnipotent being, recreated the house and the small lot he lived on plus the human woman who was his wife with the power of this thoughts. the wife did not know she was a recreation. the planet had been attacked and when the Dowd's wife had been killed he had exterminated an entire race of beings across the entire universe with his rage-filled thoughts. then he recreated his wife, yard for her to garden in, and their home. i remember Picard asked the Dowd if the recreation was enough and the Dowd answered, "i cannot live without her. this is all i can have since i am not God, only God-like." or something like that, it has been quite a long time since i saw it. but it stayed with me.
the Dowd's sorrow was all encompassing, like i feel now, and yet, i would not recreate my Dragon. the real thing was too perfect. he was flawed in the areas that were endearing. how do i live with someone that, in the darkest part of my mind, i know is not him? i couldn't. i would rather wait to see if he comes for me at my own end. it is his soul that i crave and no human, or Dowd, can build one of those.
peace to you.
Interesting idea, but I don't think I'd be interested unless the connection were for real -- not just a likeness that was somehow conjured out of my own memories. That said, I believe our minds can begin to play tricks with us when a person, or a favourite pet, is rather like another in many ways. Probably sounds rather blasphemous, but I believe this to be true. One of my brothers reminds me a lot of my dad now, and that sort of conjures up my dad for me when we are working on something together. Also, when I got my tricolor collie, Sabrina, my older tricolor, Maggie, was still alive, but was about 9 years older. They seemed nothing alike at the time, even though they came from the same person - but years after Maggie died, I now find myself often confusing the two dogs as the one has gotten to look and behave so much like the older one. In a way, that has caused a sense of continuity which is actually kind of comforting. So, who knows... maybe an avatar of a loved one would be a strange but soothing placebo.
ReplyDeleteSHOOT! I clicked away to find the name of the version of star trek I was referencing and lost my comment!
ReplyDeleteArgh. Anyway - WnS - did you see the episode in what I now know was deep space nine, where the captain is taken captive by alien life forms that are only thought? They take him to the scene of the explosion that killed his wife. He has to relive the whole thing, and they keep saying "you live here." He keeps saying - no. I am Captain of the starship enterprise, we are on a mission, and your life forms have taken me captive. They insist: "That may be true, but you live HERE. This is where your heart is, and your mind, and all of your thoughts. You live HERE." In the end, he agrees: It is true. I live here. I have never left.
That star trek.
I don't think I would Dowd either.
And - if anyone saw Inception, there are similar themes. In case you haven't seen it, I won't give any specifics... (btw: I wish all movies came with warnings about whether or not there are scenes very close to drowning scenes/images. A little warning would be nice.)
Megan, i did see that episode of Deep Space Nine. it came to mind when i referenced the Dowd but was too hard to comment to simply because i do live there, still. there are moments when i flashback to those minutes i worked on my Dragon. i will never forget his face or any other sense that participated in his death. sound. touch. sight. smell. there are moments i relive it and fall apart. one day it will fade but for now, it waits for a weak moment.
ReplyDeletethere is a new film coming out, "Hereafter." it will be way too much. at least with that film that title warns us.
Great comments everyone. I hate to admit it, but I would sign up for this virtual relationship in a minute. Since I have only seen Michael in a dream on one occasion, I feel cheated even further. I don't get to dream about the wonderful times we had, or dream of some fantasy that could have been. I feel like I have been given the death package that consists of one final death, with no further connections. Also, Michael loved the idea of avatars, or even ghosts, coming back and relating to those left behind. We spoke often about him trying to come back to communicate with me. I'm thinking that it just isn't possible, because if it is, then damn him for not keeping his promise.
ReplyDeleteI know that really having this virtual opportunity to do me in, but sometimes I would take the shot of this type of heroin, just to see if all the effort to keep going is really worth it. You'll have to excuse me, as I am not in the best emotional shape these days.
Dan, I'm sorry that you're having a rough time at the moment. I went through a bad patch recently too, but have tried to just push onwards. It's better for now. Comes and goes.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you'll be like me. For the first two years, I never seemed to dream of Don - just these weird dreams where he was sort of peripheral to what was happening and it was always something having to do with hospitals, chemo, doctors, or death. I actually wished I wouldn't even have those dreams as I felt they were actually making me feel nutty inside. Anyhow, just this past few weeks, I've had three or four dreams in which Don seemed to be normal. They weren't spectacular dreams, but they were nice. In all three, we were driving somewhere. I hope that, as time passes, perhaps I will have some nicer dreams. Oddly, the same thing happened when my dad died. I just had hospital dreams with him - or dreams where he was very ill. As with Don in past dreams, he couldn't seem to talk to me. Then, a couple of years later, I had a dream that he and I swam across a vast lake together, stopping at submerged rocks that were like stepping stones. Eventually, we made it to the other side together. Since then, I seem to just have "normal" dreams about him. He can talk and appears now and then in my dreams. Who knows what is happening in our heads that we have to get rid of some thoughts to clear a space for better things to start to happen.
take care,
bev
I agree with bev on that one. In the first many months, matt was HERE. I felt him and knew it and had a lot of dreams and meditations where he showed up. That very rarely happens, or has happened, in the last several months, and it makes me mad and sad, too. If he can communicate, why the f isn't he.
ReplyDeleteI think it's because matt was very not a computer person, and so much loved being out doing things, I think he would hate the avatar idea. I guess I have no vision of what avatar existence would or could be, and I way overthink things anyway. The chance to have a re-cap discussion, a wth just happened, and what am I supposed to do now conversation would be great. I think, like you dan, I might take that shot, if I knew it could be undone. I don't know what it would take at this point to convince me I wasn't making it up, or that he wasn't held back in some way. Obviously, I think too much...