number 2
Originally uploaded by Andy Biesemeyer
Okay, so not the best of days. I've had some trouble with the house that I'm renting. There have been many small problems, which keep adding up. Much of my time has been trying to address these issues, and being home so the hired help can have access to my house while fixing the downstairs unit. It's getting me frustrated.
I learned today that I didn't get the job that I thought I had wanted. I'm kind of in a strange place right now. Not meaning San Diego, more like a strange state of mind. I'm disappointed that I didn't get offered the job, but am grateful that I didn't have to make any decisions about taking it. I'm really enjoying the idea of not working. I haven't completely gotten into the groove of living a life of leisure, as most of my time is still spent unpacking and needing to be around the house. I'm hoping that by the end of this week I should be ready to relax a bit more, and start mapping out my week a little better. After dropping my son off at his Jiu Jitsu class this afternoon, I realized that the nearby Buddhist Center was having a Monday night series of classes that look quite interesting. The timing didn't work today, but I put my son on notice that starting next week he will need to get back on the bus. I'm also planning on attending a group yoga class tomorrow evening, and want to do this group a few times a week. Then as soon as the sun starts coming out a bit more, the boys and I will begin our transformation into beach bums.
My plan to discontinue sleeping medication has gone very well. Well, maybe not very well, as I wake up a lot during the night. This is a kink I'm going to need to work out. My next step is getting off my anxiety medication. You see, I am quite a pharmaceutical reps dream. These past few years really took their toll on my health. Trying to manage Michael's illness, and the three kids' special needs, plus a stressful job, made for one stressed out, depressed and chronically migraine challenged Dan. The headaches have been gone for over a month now. The stress is better managed, and the medication has been cut in half. I'm hoping to be off of it completely by next week. And no, I'm not doing this under a doctor's care. I know, I know, but this is how I have chosen to do this.
Once my youngest starts his camp next week, I will be focusing on being more social. Hopefully I will meet some nice people through the yoga groups, and go from there. Also, in less than two weeks I will be participating in Camp Widow, which is coincidentally right here in San Diego. And even though the hotel is probably only five minutes way from my home, I have kept my reservation. I want to immerse myself in it, and enjoy my time getting to know all my brother and sister widows.
These are all good signs to me - that you've made the right decision for yourself. It's difficult to make the kind of changes you've described - reduction in sleeping and anxiety meds, becoming more in touch with your body through yoga, and socializing more - if you're feeling stressed out. Obviously, something has changed -- reduced stress for one. That's good news, even if the job application didn't. There will be other opportunities, and maybe the best thing to be concentrating on, at least for the next few weeks, is getting your life and health back under control. Sounds to me like you're doing just that and making some serious progress.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear you didn't get the job, but I feel confident that something even better will come along-- when you want it!! However it sounds like you are making great progress in your medications!! I am on a bunch myself so I am not at all saying meds are bad just that if you want off, I am glad its going well. Glad that your move has gone pretty well. Even though you have to let the workmen in think of the fact that you don't have to pay them Yah!!
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