11:45 pm, and I am getting this in under the wire.
I have had an extremely busy, and hard-working day. I have spackled, painted, boxed, dismantled, lifted and moved furniture, and my poor body is worn out. As I sit here I can feel every muscle in my body, knotted and sore. What I wouldn't give for a nice hot tub, or massage. What I got instead was a warm shower, and tons of real estate documents to fill out.
Being kept so busy has made me coast through the ten month anniversary of Michael's death. I knew it was arriving, but I told myself that it was just another day. I needed to stay focused on the tasks at hand, and can feel what I need to feel when this is all behind me. I did get a sweet reminder from my daughter, who says she lit a candle in Michael's honor, and has had him on her mind throughout the day. I appreciate her sharing this with me. Being that she's been in San Diego for the past three weeks, I have really missed her.
I look around my bedroom, and everything has been dismantled and packed. What I haven't yet touched is the one shelf that holds Michael's urn and all of the little trinkets that keeps it company. The room is very dark, as I have packed the electronic picture frame that usually illuminates the room. Tonight the only glow comes from a single tea light next to the urn. Outside is the soft light of the fountain. And I sit here, feeling peaceful.