11:45 pm, and I am getting this in under the wire.
I have had an extremely busy, and hard-working day. I have spackled, painted, boxed, dismantled, lifted and moved furniture, and my poor body is worn out. As I sit here I can feel every muscle in my body, knotted and sore. What I wouldn't give for a nice hot tub, or massage. What I got instead was a warm shower, and tons of real estate documents to fill out.
Being kept so busy has made me coast through the ten month anniversary of Michael's death. I knew it was arriving, but I told myself that it was just another day. I needed to stay focused on the tasks at hand, and can feel what I need to feel when this is all behind me. I did get a sweet reminder from my daughter, who says she lit a candle in Michael's honor, and has had him on her mind throughout the day. I appreciate her sharing this with me. Being that she's been in San Diego for the past three weeks, I have really missed her.
I look around my bedroom, and everything has been dismantled and packed. What I haven't yet touched is the one shelf that holds Michael's urn and all of the little trinkets that keeps it company. The room is very dark, as I have packed the electronic picture frame that usually illuminates the room. Tonight the only glow comes from a single tea light next to the urn. Outside is the soft light of the fountain. And I sit here, feeling peaceful.
Thinking of you, Dan. I just realized that we have more in common than I thought. Not only did our spouses both die from GBM but they died on the same day of the month. I look forward to giving you a hug at Camp Widow.
ReplyDeleteYesterday, I was reading through some of my blog posts from last summer. There were a couple with photos of my empty house. My dogs were trotting around barking to hear their own voices echo. Life felt very odd, but I think I was so focused on getting through the sale and moving on, that it was okay. Sounds like you're in a similar mode. It's so nice that your daughter is so thoughtful. I'm sure you're both looking forward to the move. Not long now!
ReplyDeleteSeems to me that staying busy and coasting through those anniversary is about the best we can ask for. Glad to read that the move is proceeding well and you were able to have a few moments of peace. Thinking of you...
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